So, in no particular order (except the first few!), here goes my random list:
I'm Thankful For....
(The Special People In My Life)
1. My Son's: Two of the greatest gifts from God. My legacy!
2. My Mark: He's my best friend and the president of my fan club.. (and I am his) From him I get unconditional love and acceptance, and he always makes me feel like I'm special and so loved. I'm a blessed girl.
3. My parents, my brother & his family: I'm thankful to be the daughter of two very loving, supportive people. I know how much they adore me. My parents enabled me to experience many things, regardless of how much they sometimes worried. They gave me everything they possibly could ... and even some things they probably couldn't. I'm thankful for my brother and my sis n love and my awesome nephews.
4. My friends: If I named them all individually, from wonderful acquaintances to tried and true friends, I'd have the rest of my list of 50 right there. I know there are a lot of good people, near and far, who I can count on, who care about me, and who want only the best for me. I truly value my friends and will never have "enough" or too many.
I'M THANKFUL FOR....
(What I've Been Able To Do And Accomplish)
5. Living in many places: So far, the places I've called home have been in Mississippi, Illinois, Oregon, Wisconsin, Florida and now in Atlanta, Georgia. It's been great, experiencing various parts of the country for more than just the length of a vacation, all different and special in their own ways.
6. Working with some wonderful ministries: I feel honored to have worked with some wonderful ministries all over the world and I feel I am who I am today because of these awesome men and women of God that mentored me. Also blessed to have traveled all over the world with these ministries..... my favorite trip to date has to be Israel.
I'm Thankful For....
(Things I Like About Me)
7. Being a nice person: I'm hardly perfect, but it's good to know in my heart that I'm a kind person. I'd never intentionally hurt anyone. I don't believe in being mean. I hate to see anyone cry and love to see people smile. I genuinely appreciate and care about people.
8. Being a wonderful mother: I love being Morgan Scotlend and Lyncoln Presley's MOM.
9. Being a decent writer: At least, when I really try. I'm happy I can express myself and my imagination that way. I may not be the best writer, and there's always plenty of room for improvement, but I do know I have some talent to build on.
10. Accomplishing goals: To one degree or another, I tend to follow through on things. I thrive on having goals to strive for and am happy about the fact I've been able to achieve some of them. I like that I have "stick-to-itiveness."
11. Knowing when to quit: I like knowing that I'm able to walk away from things that don't make me happy or aren't satisfying. Sometimes it takes a while to come to terms with "quitting," but I'm glad I've had the guts to do it when it has really mattered.
12. Being able to laugh when the going gets tough: I like that I can often smile my way through difficulties and find the bright side.
I'm Thankful For....
(A Lot Of Good Blessings)
13. Being debt-free: I don't owe anyone money for anything, and that feels good.
14. Being financially secure: I'm not rich (whatever that is, monetarily speaking), but we're comfortable and we have what we need and then some.
15. Good health: This should probably be way at the top of the list, but I'm really not writing this in any particular order. So far, though, at age 39, I've never had any major--or really any--health issues. One can never know for sure what will happen in that regard, but I'm thankful that I've been blessed with good health.
I'm Thankful For....
(ALL sorts of other things)
16. Being an American: Taking nothing away from any other country, I'm just being thankful for my own. It may not be perfect--what place is?--but I love it nonetheless.
17. The seasons: I love them all. Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter. There are so many wonderful, special things about each, no matter where I live or spend the time.
18. Sushi: Yum! (just figured out I LOVE IT... thanks to Mark)
19. Sunshine: Doesn't it feel good? I know, too much isn't such a good thing, but, ooh, just to soak it up for a while, either outside or in a sunny window, is one of my favorite things.
20. The sound of the rain on the roof: Is there any better sound to fall asleep to?
21. Ugg Boots: Nothin' better than ugg (ugly) boots when you have tile floors! They keep us from turning the thermostat up another few degrees on those chilly winter mornings.
22. Hot Baths: Need I explain? They're especially satisfying after a long day. Heck, they're great anytime.
23. STARBUCKS: No explanation needed;)
And I'm Thankful For....
24. The ocean: I was blessed to live near one for a while. I love the smell of it. I love to eat what comes out of it. I love to walk along it, wade in it, sometimes swim in and boat on it. Or just sit and stare at it. I especially love the moonlight on the water.
25. Facebook & Twitter: I really never thought these would be on any list of things to be thankful for (and the FB site really frustrates me sometimes), but I truly am glad I joined. I've reconnected with old friends--some of whom are better friends now than ever before--these sites have also brought some awesome NEW friends into my life that are so dear to me. I love all my Facebook and Twitter Family. Facebook has also brought together what is now a very happy couple. Grateful
26. Sanitation workers: I mean, can you imagine if no one did those jobs? In fact, this goes for anyone who does any job I wouldn't or couldn't do, because I know I benefit, directly or indirectly in some way. So doctors and nurses, police officers and accountants are included, too, along with many, many others.
27. Entertainers: I've been to so many shows--concerts, plays, Broadway and off-Broadway shows, comedy shows, circuses, ice skating shows, symphonies, movies. I even enjoy some television shows now and again. I appreciate the people who make me sing, dance, laugh, and sometimes even cry.
28. Invitations: Even though I sometimes can't accept (and, yes, sometimes don't want to), it sure is nice to be invited. To what? Well, to just about anything, I guess. And I'm thankful for them all.
29. Music: Makes my life happy.
30. Digital cameras: Sure beats having to spend all that money to develop film.And I can delete and retake pictures where I look yucky.
31. Mom's Chocolate Pecan Cake: Heavenly
32. GPS: I would be lost without mine;)
I'm Thankful For....
33. The moon and stars: Pure Perfection.... Thanks God!!
34. My Purpose: Ministry.... So grateful God trust me to love His kid's. I'm so humbled at the fact God let's me work for Him everyday.
35. Memories: It's fun to reminisce. I like reading my journal, and looking through photos, which remind me of so many details.
36. Things to look forward to: I have adventures, big and small, on my list, both planned and yet to be, to be excited about.
37. The hard times: Because they've made me stronger and wiser, and the good times even better.
38. Those who read what I write: I really appreciate the time anyone takes to read what I've written, be it a status update, a tweet, a blog post, a journal entry, you name it. I hope they find the time well spent somehow, too.
39. All those who've ever served our country: And other countries too. It's an admiral and brave thing to do. Our men and women in uniform, past and present, have, do and will give so much for us all. So do their families.
And I'm Thankful For....
40. LOVE: it may not make the world go around but it sure makes life more fun.... ;)
41. The little things: every single one of them...
42. Friends I've yet to make: I look forward to meeting them!
43. Wildflowers: I can't name more than about three or four, but I sure do think they're pretty.
44. Candles: They have a way of making my home feel more like a home.....
45. Dusk and dawn: They don't last long, but I love it when I'm aware of those times.. Dusk and dawn have their own special sounds and light changes.
46. My telephone chats with Mark: Something about sitting and talking late into the night about our dreams.
47. Having a good memory: I'm quite good at keeping track of things and remembering certain kinds of details. Or at least I'm good at writing things down so I don't forget. Most of the time, anyway.
48. Being sensitive: I'm sensitive to other people's feelings. This also helps me when I'm flowing in ministry. I'm grateful for that.
49. The BIG PICTURE!!
50. BEING ME!!
Kimberly Jones
Welcome to my World
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Friday, July 29, 2011
Favor Ain't Fair!
“Your threshing season will overlap with the grape harvest, and your grape harvest will overlap with the season of planting grain. You will eat your fill and live securely in your own land”
(Leviticus 26:5, NLT)
I believe we are living in a day and age when God is accelerating His work in our lives! I believe that what used to take days, weeks and even years in times past, God will do in an instant in this day and age. In an instant, you can receive your breakthrough. In an instant, you can be promoted on your job. In an instant, you can receive your healing. In an instant, your relationship can be restored. In an instant, that child can change their ways.
Today, believe that God will take you further than you ever thought possible, faster than you ever thought possible. Trust that your times are in His hands. Know that He is working behind the scenes on your behalf. Just like in the days of old, God will accelerate your seasons, and He will thrust you into the blessing and victory He has prepared for you!
(Leviticus 26:5, NLT)
I believe we are living in a day and age when God is accelerating His work in our lives! I believe that what used to take days, weeks and even years in times past, God will do in an instant in this day and age. In an instant, you can receive your breakthrough. In an instant, you can be promoted on your job. In an instant, you can receive your healing. In an instant, your relationship can be restored. In an instant, that child can change their ways.
Today, believe that God will take you further than you ever thought possible, faster than you ever thought possible. Trust that your times are in His hands. Know that He is working behind the scenes on your behalf. Just like in the days of old, God will accelerate your seasons, and He will thrust you into the blessing and victory He has prepared for you!
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Favor For A Lifetime...
Did you know that God has already released good things into your future? His favor covers your lifetime! When God laid out the plan for your life, He lined up the right people, the right circumstances, and the right breaks. In your future, He’s already released favor, supernatural opportunities, and divine connections. The good breaks you need have already been preordained to come across your path. If you will stay in faith and go out each day and be a person of excellence, you’ll have times where it’s as if you just stumbled into God’s blessings. You’ll look back and think, “How did I get to where I am? I’m not the most qualified, but I got the promotion. I didn’t deserve that break, but someone went out of their way to help me.” What happened? You walked into that favor that was already poured out on your path.
Today, no matter what you may be facing, focus on moving forward. He has already ordered your steps and arranged good things for you. Keep praying, keep believing, and keep hoping because there is favor in store for your future!
Today, no matter what you may be facing, focus on moving forward. He has already ordered your steps and arranged good things for you. Keep praying, keep believing, and keep hoping because there is favor in store for your future!
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Can't Keep a Good Woman Down
"Failure is temporarily disbelief on the way to permanent Success"
-Stop looking at the limitations when u fail, and start looking for the blessings in that failure! Failure has been my life's greatest MENTOR, it has taught me lessons that no other person or situation could ever teach. The thing you have to realize is that God might allow us to fail in something far SMALLER just so we can be successful in something much BIGGER! Failure is only final when you STOP trying to succeed and in reality it's just a stepping stone that moves us closer to our dreams. When you're on the right track TRUST temporarily failure is a mile marker that you will cross while on your path to greatness. So Stop complaining, pick yourself back up and go get what God has set out for your life.
P.S. In my eyes... Failure is really a friend that is just simply misunderstood.
-Stop looking at the limitations when u fail, and start looking for the blessings in that failure! Failure has been my life's greatest MENTOR, it has taught me lessons that no other person or situation could ever teach. The thing you have to realize is that God might allow us to fail in something far SMALLER just so we can be successful in something much BIGGER! Failure is only final when you STOP trying to succeed and in reality it's just a stepping stone that moves us closer to our dreams. When you're on the right track TRUST temporarily failure is a mile marker that you will cross while on your path to greatness. So Stop complaining, pick yourself back up and go get what God has set out for your life.
P.S. In my eyes... Failure is really a friend that is just simply misunderstood.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Embracing My DNA
For me, prayer has always been wrapped up in condemnation.
Not that it was a conscious thought, but it was always there… underlying my foundational beliefs about prayer. And about myself.
While I’ve never been one to pray for very long, everyday but not hours at a time. my mom, on the other hand, was known for her hours-long prayer times. And in a way, it became a measure of spirituality in the brand of Christianity I was raised in.
A measure I fell very short of.
I’ve been made to feel like a “bad Christian” because of my prayer habits (or non-habits).
I’ve been told that I’m not spiritual enough because I don’t pray for long periods of time. (Along with my insufficient Scripture usage and lack of structured “quiet times”…)
Prayer became yet another area that I’m simply “not enough” in. The guilt always gave birth to shame in my failed attempts to try harder.
So it’s something I’ve had to realign my thinking on. And I find myself still needing to. Often. Because I still feel the weight of those lies.
I want depth and realness in my prayer life to stem from desire, not judgment.
I’m tired of trying to pray more/better/longer/eloquentlier because I’m “supposed to”. I’m done should-ing on myself, and I’m done with others should-ing on me too.
Because, let’s be honest… Guilt, disapproval, and judgment have only caused me to pray less, not more.
Ironic how condemnation works. Even when it’s self-inflicted.
I digress.
There is significant freedom in remembering that God created me as I am, on purpose.
He’s not surprised by my “oooooh! shiny!” tendencies when I’m talking to Him. He’s not baffled by my inability to sit still for extended periods of time. He’s not confused when I pray in short one-liners spread throughout the day.
He knows what I’m like. He’s the One who knit me together for God’s sake! (No blasphemy intended. He really did create me for His sake.)
And He hardwired me exactly as I am. Intentionally.
I think He loves when I relate to Him out of the uniqueness of my own DNA rather than out of some mass-produced version of how Christians “should” pray.
So today I’m choosing to shake off the shackles of should and supposed to. And I’m giving myself the freedom to discover how God wants to relate to me.
And how He created me to relate to Him.
Which is as individual and unparalleled as my fingerprint.
What are some of the unique ways you can relate to God?
Do you feel freedom to connect with Him like that?
Not that it was a conscious thought, but it was always there… underlying my foundational beliefs about prayer. And about myself.
While I’ve never been one to pray for very long, everyday but not hours at a time. my mom, on the other hand, was known for her hours-long prayer times. And in a way, it became a measure of spirituality in the brand of Christianity I was raised in.
A measure I fell very short of.
I’ve been made to feel like a “bad Christian” because of my prayer habits (or non-habits).
I’ve been told that I’m not spiritual enough because I don’t pray for long periods of time. (Along with my insufficient Scripture usage and lack of structured “quiet times”…)
Prayer became yet another area that I’m simply “not enough” in. The guilt always gave birth to shame in my failed attempts to try harder.
So it’s something I’ve had to realign my thinking on. And I find myself still needing to. Often. Because I still feel the weight of those lies.
I want depth and realness in my prayer life to stem from desire, not judgment.
I’m tired of trying to pray more/better/longer/eloquentlier because I’m “supposed to”. I’m done should-ing on myself, and I’m done with others should-ing on me too.
Because, let’s be honest… Guilt, disapproval, and judgment have only caused me to pray less, not more.
Ironic how condemnation works. Even when it’s self-inflicted.
I digress.
There is significant freedom in remembering that God created me as I am, on purpose.
He’s not surprised by my “oooooh! shiny!” tendencies when I’m talking to Him. He’s not baffled by my inability to sit still for extended periods of time. He’s not confused when I pray in short one-liners spread throughout the day.
He knows what I’m like. He’s the One who knit me together for God’s sake! (No blasphemy intended. He really did create me for His sake.)
And He hardwired me exactly as I am. Intentionally.
I think He loves when I relate to Him out of the uniqueness of my own DNA rather than out of some mass-produced version of how Christians “should” pray.
So today I’m choosing to shake off the shackles of should and supposed to. And I’m giving myself the freedom to discover how God wants to relate to me.
And how He created me to relate to Him.
Which is as individual and unparalleled as my fingerprint.
What are some of the unique ways you can relate to God?
Do you feel freedom to connect with Him like that?
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Who Touched Me
The woman bled for 12 years straight.Physician after physician shrugged his shoulders. She’d given up all hope of ever getting better. But then she heard about Jesus: the miracle worker. Desperate, she knew she had to get to Him.
As she clawed her way through the crowd on her hands and knees, she carried with her much more than her illness. She carried shame. As if in a bag over her shoulder, she dragged along a heavy burden of rejection and fear. She’s referred to as the “woman with the issue of blood”, but her issues ran much deeper than that. Her physical ailment made her an outcast in her own culture.Her emotional hurts and scars were far worse than her physical ones.
Finally catching up to Jesus, she reached out and frantically, yet faintly, grabbed the hem of His robe. Immediately, she was healed. Jesus turned around and faced the crowd.“Who touched Me?”
Shetold Him the whole truth.She told why she had touched Him and how she had been instantly healed.Jesus cared enough to listen to her story. Thelongversion.He just let her talk.He was on His way to heal a dying girl. People were rushing Him. Pressing Him. Insisting He keep going before it’s too late. He silenced them long enough for her to tell her story.
When she finished talking, He responded by calling herDaughter. It’s the only time recorded that He addressed someone that way. The love she felt in that one simple word must have been overwhelming. After pouring out her heart, He’d responded with pure affection. Gentle but aggressive love.
If Jesus’ aim was simply to heal her, He would have kept walking after she touched Him, for she was healed instantly. If that was all He was concerned about, He wouldn’t have stopped, turned around, asked the question. He wouldn’t have looked straight at her, talked to her, listened. But He did all those things. He wanted to let her talk. To tell her story.He wanted to call herDaughter.
For that is when her heart was healed.
He wanted to heal more than her body. His aim all along was to heal her heart.
I can picture Him looking her in the eyes as He talked to her. And making her look into His. The healing began as, face-to-face, His love was visible, and it resonated within her soul. It broke down walls. Shattered barriers. Smashed through the defenses she’d lived behind for so long. His love broke through with a simple gaze, a listening ear, and undivided attention.
It wouldn’t have helped if He healed her physically, but left her to still carry the hurt from her 12 years of rejection and disgrace. Despite her physical healing, she probably would have continued to stay holed up in her house. She would have been the same cowering little girl she always was, still dragging her bag of shame behind her. But as Jesus looked into her eyes, He saw the woman He created her to be, and He wasn’t content to leave her drowning in her pain.
The greatest healing isn’t the miraculous cure of her incurable disease. It is the passionate healing of her heart.
God’s primary concern is still the condition of hearts. Physical health and a blessed life pale in comparison with a restored soul. God’s heart hurts for our hurting hearts.
He still brings love, grace, and healing through a touch of the hem of His robe.
And we are the hem of His robe.
As she clawed her way through the crowd on her hands and knees, she carried with her much more than her illness. She carried shame. As if in a bag over her shoulder, she dragged along a heavy burden of rejection and fear. She’s referred to as the “woman with the issue of blood”, but her issues ran much deeper than that. Her physical ailment made her an outcast in her own culture.Her emotional hurts and scars were far worse than her physical ones.
Finally catching up to Jesus, she reached out and frantically, yet faintly, grabbed the hem of His robe. Immediately, she was healed. Jesus turned around and faced the crowd.“Who touched Me?”
Shetold Him the whole truth.She told why she had touched Him and how she had been instantly healed.Jesus cared enough to listen to her story. Thelongversion.He just let her talk.He was on His way to heal a dying girl. People were rushing Him. Pressing Him. Insisting He keep going before it’s too late. He silenced them long enough for her to tell her story.
When she finished talking, He responded by calling herDaughter. It’s the only time recorded that He addressed someone that way. The love she felt in that one simple word must have been overwhelming. After pouring out her heart, He’d responded with pure affection. Gentle but aggressive love.
If Jesus’ aim was simply to heal her, He would have kept walking after she touched Him, for she was healed instantly. If that was all He was concerned about, He wouldn’t have stopped, turned around, asked the question. He wouldn’t have looked straight at her, talked to her, listened. But He did all those things. He wanted to let her talk. To tell her story.He wanted to call herDaughter.
For that is when her heart was healed.
He wanted to heal more than her body. His aim all along was to heal her heart.
I can picture Him looking her in the eyes as He talked to her. And making her look into His. The healing began as, face-to-face, His love was visible, and it resonated within her soul. It broke down walls. Shattered barriers. Smashed through the defenses she’d lived behind for so long. His love broke through with a simple gaze, a listening ear, and undivided attention.
It wouldn’t have helped if He healed her physically, but left her to still carry the hurt from her 12 years of rejection and disgrace. Despite her physical healing, she probably would have continued to stay holed up in her house. She would have been the same cowering little girl she always was, still dragging her bag of shame behind her. But as Jesus looked into her eyes, He saw the woman He created her to be, and He wasn’t content to leave her drowning in her pain.
The greatest healing isn’t the miraculous cure of her incurable disease. It is the passionate healing of her heart.
God’s primary concern is still the condition of hearts. Physical health and a blessed life pale in comparison with a restored soul. God’s heart hurts for our hurting hearts.
He still brings love, grace, and healing through a touch of the hem of His robe.
And we are the hem of His robe.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Flipping the Script on Self(ish)Love.. Creating a better ME!
How many times have you been told to "believe in" or to "feel good about yourself"? I had a mentor who advised me to kiss my reflection in the mirror and tell myself that i am beautiful and wonderful. I know some people who act like they’ve kissed their mirrors one too many times, but not me. I have suffered from insecurity and low self-esteem myself before.. I always say,"God was in a funny mood the day he created me!" He gave me to a mommy that stood 5'1 and 99 pounds wet.. He created me 5'9 and thick;)) I always felt like a amazon next to her petite frame! I now celebrate my body & image. Wouldn't want to be any different! I also faced a learning disability which led to me being very driven in everything i did. Trying to prove something to ME & everyone around me. I really was a train wreck for a while. Hurt people.. Hurt people! I hurt many Hearts of people I loved all because I didn't love me. Thank God I'm free from that & growing everyday! Healed people.. Heal people! This is why I now Love sooooo Much.. Even the Meanies;)) I realize no one truly wants to be mean.. It's a cover for their insecurities,hurt and pain that they haven't dealt with.. I truly believe everyone can change if they desire! I did;)
I’ve always seemed confident on the outside, but I’ve felt insecure inside, longing for someone to love me and believe in me. Just as many of you have. My gift from God was realizing it had to start in me so that I could be lovable.. I faced a life changing event 5 years ago that literally brought me to my knees. What the devil meant for evil.. God used for his Glory and healed my soul through it. Though I would never want anyone to face this nor would I ever want to relive it.. I am so grateful for what God did in my heart,life and soul! I surrendered during this season. I was desperate and allowed myself to be vulnerable to a good God. I realized he is a Kind, loving , gracious, forgiving God who desired for me to be whole and love life! I faced my fears and learned to love people & everything about me.. I was reborn in this season! Okay.. Let me get back on track here on talking about Self Esteem;)
Is Self-Esteem Necessary?
Society emphasizes the need for high self-esteem, but is it biblical? Some people think so. They point to Mark 12:31 as a biblical basis for cultivating self-love. That’s the passage where Jesus says that the greatest commandment is to love God and the second is to love your neighbor as yourself. Proponents of self-love detect a third commandment, explaining that we cannot love our neighbor until we love ourselves. Hence, they say, our basic need is higher self-esteem. Yet this is a misinterpretation of Scripture. Ephesians 5:6 says, "No man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it. . . ." Rather than telling us to love ourselves, the Bible says we already love ourselves and predicts that self-esteem movements will rise in the last days. In fact, the only biblical reference to self love is negative. People will become "lovers of their own selves" (2 Timothy 3:2). Society’s emphasis on self-love is characteristic of a proud society. We are seeing ramifications of this all around us with how we've placed men & women of God up on high man made platforms holding them to unrealistic standards that they couldn't fulfill. They got puffed up by the praise and lost sight of the fear of God. This resulting in them falling into sin and hurting lots of saints who had them in the place of God in their lives.
The Bible contains plenty of examples of people who suffered from self-esteem problems. However, none suffered from low self-esteem. King Saul was doing just fine when he was "little in [his] own sight" (2 Samuel 15:17). When he became proud and decided to run his own show, however, his high self-esteem, manifested in disobedience, cost him his kingdom.
A rich man of the New Testament also paid a high price for high self-esteem. One year, his harvest was far more than he needed, so he came up with a plan to rip down his barns and build bigger ones to hold his excess food. Then he said to himself: "Soul, thou hast much goods laid up for many years; take thine ease, eat, drink and be merry" (Luke 12:18-19). Christ condemned this man for focusing on himself, calling him a fool. The rich man’s self-focus cost him his life that night.
Do you notice any similarities between the rich man’s words and the following? "I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God: I will sit also upon the mount of the congregation, in the sides of the north: I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will be like the most high" (Isaiah 14:13-14). These words, spoken by Satan, caused him to be thrown out of heaven. High self-esteem says,
"You are great; you have the ability and the right to make your own decisions and to run your own life, and no one should stop you—not even God." High self-esteem was the original sin.
Consider the apostle Paul. If anyone had cause to have high self-esteem, Paul did. He had attended a prestigious "Ivy League" school of his day. He was religious, extremely moral, and zealous in religious service. Yet the Lord gave him a "thorn in the flesh" to keep him from having high self-esteem. In 2 Corinthians 12:6, Paul says he would have enjoyed glorying in himself, yet he realized how foolish that would be. Only God deserved the credit for changing him from a pompous Pharisee to a humble servant of Christ.(This is how I feel.. I'm humbled to be a voice for my God;) Though Paul asked God to take his weakness away, the request was denied. Instead, Christ gave Paul something better: Christ-dependence. Listen to the Lord’s promise: "My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness" (v. 9).
Is Christ Sufficient?
If having high self-esteem is so unbiblical, why do Christians still think they need it? Self-esteem rears its head when we refuse to believe that Christ is sufficient in our weakness and when we claim credit for the abilities, accomplishments, and strengths God has given us. Our need for self-esteem is basically pride—essentially stealing attention away from God. In our culture where the self-made man and the empowered woman are our role models, weakness is not a virtue. We would rather feel strong and self-sufficient than to be dependent on someone else. If we realize that Christ can love us, use us, change us, and give us grace in our weaknesses, then Christ is the One we need, not ourselves. (whew.. I'm blessing myself & speaking to myself! This makes me love God even more!;)
You have a choice. You can choose to believe in yourself or Christ but not both. If we really believe that Christ is sufficient in our weakness—that Christ’s strength, beauty, sovereignty, and perfection are far greater than our weakness—then we won’t need to raise our self-esteem. When we admit that we are weak and that God is strong, we become people God can use for His glory. We aren't puffed up.. We realize we're just a sinner, saved by grace.. We're so humbled and grateful, we can't help but be contagious in his love! We walk everyday in the whole armor of God and give him all the glory!
How do we combat self-esteem and cultivate Christ-esteem? We need to think realistically about who we are in light of who God is. Try this: Take a sheet of paper and divide it into four columns. In the first column, list your weaknesses, and in the second column, write down verses that show how God can be glorified through each one. A verse that helps me overcome the jitters when I'm faced with standing & ministering in front of a group of saints that I respect and admire.. I find myself feeling at times like they should be up there more than I... (Yes, this happens to me;) one of my verses is Psalm 144:1: "Blessed be the LORD my strength, which teacheth my hands to war, and my fingers to fight." I am chosen to minister the gospel and I can do all things thru Christ who strengthen me! He turned my scars into stars and my pain into my pulpit.. Thank the Lord for how He can and will use your weaknesses to show His strength, power, and grace in your life. (Note: If you cannot be thankful for your weaknesses, you are showing roots of bitterness against God. Confess that and then thank Him.)
In the third column, write your strengths and pray two things about each one: First, ask God to prevent you from boasting in them (2 Corinthians 12:9). Recognize that it is only by His grace you have strengths and abilities; Second, entrust each strength to the Lord, asking Him to use your strengths to glorify Himself. Finally, in the fourth column, write down Bible verses that will help you to resist the temptation to be proud of your strengths. Girls, do you think that you are (as my guy friends used to say) a "super luscious babe"? Memorize Proverbs 31:30: "Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised." But wait, guys, you’re not off the hook. If you think you’re a "chick magnet," consider Eliab, King David’s good-looking older brother. His looks did not impress God, who said, "Man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart" (1 Samuel 16:7). If we pray submissively and think biblically, God will give grace to meet our needs (Philippians 4:6-19).
When we acknowledge our powerlessness compared to that of a holy, righteous, omnipotent God, we realize we have nothing to glory in. We are left in awe of the God of the universe who fearfully and wonderfully made each of us to be exactly who we are (Psalm 139:14). He is also the God who provides His Spirit to help us in our weakness (Romans 8:26). We can confidently depend on Christ when we’re feeling weak! "For when I am weak, then am I strong" (2 Corinthians 12:10).
I am learning that I don’t need someone to believe in me when my almighty, loving Father has chosen me and is working in my life to make me like His Son. Everyday is a new day of me growing more & more in him..He is the One we need to esteem. We need only Him. That just rawks to ME! I pray this touched you and gives you a new understanding of just how precious you are to our father! I love each one of you to pieces and believe in you greatly! Bless you!
I’ve always seemed confident on the outside, but I’ve felt insecure inside, longing for someone to love me and believe in me. Just as many of you have. My gift from God was realizing it had to start in me so that I could be lovable.. I faced a life changing event 5 years ago that literally brought me to my knees. What the devil meant for evil.. God used for his Glory and healed my soul through it. Though I would never want anyone to face this nor would I ever want to relive it.. I am so grateful for what God did in my heart,life and soul! I surrendered during this season. I was desperate and allowed myself to be vulnerable to a good God. I realized he is a Kind, loving , gracious, forgiving God who desired for me to be whole and love life! I faced my fears and learned to love people & everything about me.. I was reborn in this season! Okay.. Let me get back on track here on talking about Self Esteem;)
Is Self-Esteem Necessary?
Society emphasizes the need for high self-esteem, but is it biblical? Some people think so. They point to Mark 12:31 as a biblical basis for cultivating self-love. That’s the passage where Jesus says that the greatest commandment is to love God and the second is to love your neighbor as yourself. Proponents of self-love detect a third commandment, explaining that we cannot love our neighbor until we love ourselves. Hence, they say, our basic need is higher self-esteem. Yet this is a misinterpretation of Scripture. Ephesians 5:6 says, "No man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it. . . ." Rather than telling us to love ourselves, the Bible says we already love ourselves and predicts that self-esteem movements will rise in the last days. In fact, the only biblical reference to self love is negative. People will become "lovers of their own selves" (2 Timothy 3:2). Society’s emphasis on self-love is characteristic of a proud society. We are seeing ramifications of this all around us with how we've placed men & women of God up on high man made platforms holding them to unrealistic standards that they couldn't fulfill. They got puffed up by the praise and lost sight of the fear of God. This resulting in them falling into sin and hurting lots of saints who had them in the place of God in their lives.
The Bible contains plenty of examples of people who suffered from self-esteem problems. However, none suffered from low self-esteem. King Saul was doing just fine when he was "little in [his] own sight" (2 Samuel 15:17). When he became proud and decided to run his own show, however, his high self-esteem, manifested in disobedience, cost him his kingdom.
A rich man of the New Testament also paid a high price for high self-esteem. One year, his harvest was far more than he needed, so he came up with a plan to rip down his barns and build bigger ones to hold his excess food. Then he said to himself: "Soul, thou hast much goods laid up for many years; take thine ease, eat, drink and be merry" (Luke 12:18-19). Christ condemned this man for focusing on himself, calling him a fool. The rich man’s self-focus cost him his life that night.
Do you notice any similarities between the rich man’s words and the following? "I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God: I will sit also upon the mount of the congregation, in the sides of the north: I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will be like the most high" (Isaiah 14:13-14). These words, spoken by Satan, caused him to be thrown out of heaven. High self-esteem says,
"You are great; you have the ability and the right to make your own decisions and to run your own life, and no one should stop you—not even God." High self-esteem was the original sin.
Consider the apostle Paul. If anyone had cause to have high self-esteem, Paul did. He had attended a prestigious "Ivy League" school of his day. He was religious, extremely moral, and zealous in religious service. Yet the Lord gave him a "thorn in the flesh" to keep him from having high self-esteem. In 2 Corinthians 12:6, Paul says he would have enjoyed glorying in himself, yet he realized how foolish that would be. Only God deserved the credit for changing him from a pompous Pharisee to a humble servant of Christ.(This is how I feel.. I'm humbled to be a voice for my God;) Though Paul asked God to take his weakness away, the request was denied. Instead, Christ gave Paul something better: Christ-dependence. Listen to the Lord’s promise: "My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness" (v. 9).
Is Christ Sufficient?
If having high self-esteem is so unbiblical, why do Christians still think they need it? Self-esteem rears its head when we refuse to believe that Christ is sufficient in our weakness and when we claim credit for the abilities, accomplishments, and strengths God has given us. Our need for self-esteem is basically pride—essentially stealing attention away from God. In our culture where the self-made man and the empowered woman are our role models, weakness is not a virtue. We would rather feel strong and self-sufficient than to be dependent on someone else. If we realize that Christ can love us, use us, change us, and give us grace in our weaknesses, then Christ is the One we need, not ourselves. (whew.. I'm blessing myself & speaking to myself! This makes me love God even more!;)
You have a choice. You can choose to believe in yourself or Christ but not both. If we really believe that Christ is sufficient in our weakness—that Christ’s strength, beauty, sovereignty, and perfection are far greater than our weakness—then we won’t need to raise our self-esteem. When we admit that we are weak and that God is strong, we become people God can use for His glory. We aren't puffed up.. We realize we're just a sinner, saved by grace.. We're so humbled and grateful, we can't help but be contagious in his love! We walk everyday in the whole armor of God and give him all the glory!
How do we combat self-esteem and cultivate Christ-esteem? We need to think realistically about who we are in light of who God is. Try this: Take a sheet of paper and divide it into four columns. In the first column, list your weaknesses, and in the second column, write down verses that show how God can be glorified through each one. A verse that helps me overcome the jitters when I'm faced with standing & ministering in front of a group of saints that I respect and admire.. I find myself feeling at times like they should be up there more than I... (Yes, this happens to me;) one of my verses is Psalm 144:1: "Blessed be the LORD my strength, which teacheth my hands to war, and my fingers to fight." I am chosen to minister the gospel and I can do all things thru Christ who strengthen me! He turned my scars into stars and my pain into my pulpit.. Thank the Lord for how He can and will use your weaknesses to show His strength, power, and grace in your life. (Note: If you cannot be thankful for your weaknesses, you are showing roots of bitterness against God. Confess that and then thank Him.)
In the third column, write your strengths and pray two things about each one: First, ask God to prevent you from boasting in them (2 Corinthians 12:9). Recognize that it is only by His grace you have strengths and abilities; Second, entrust each strength to the Lord, asking Him to use your strengths to glorify Himself. Finally, in the fourth column, write down Bible verses that will help you to resist the temptation to be proud of your strengths. Girls, do you think that you are (as my guy friends used to say) a "super luscious babe"? Memorize Proverbs 31:30: "Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised." But wait, guys, you’re not off the hook. If you think you’re a "chick magnet," consider Eliab, King David’s good-looking older brother. His looks did not impress God, who said, "Man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart" (1 Samuel 16:7). If we pray submissively and think biblically, God will give grace to meet our needs (Philippians 4:6-19).
When we acknowledge our powerlessness compared to that of a holy, righteous, omnipotent God, we realize we have nothing to glory in. We are left in awe of the God of the universe who fearfully and wonderfully made each of us to be exactly who we are (Psalm 139:14). He is also the God who provides His Spirit to help us in our weakness (Romans 8:26). We can confidently depend on Christ when we’re feeling weak! "For when I am weak, then am I strong" (2 Corinthians 12:10).
I am learning that I don’t need someone to believe in me when my almighty, loving Father has chosen me and is working in my life to make me like His Son. Everyday is a new day of me growing more & more in him..He is the One we need to esteem. We need only Him. That just rawks to ME! I pray this touched you and gives you a new understanding of just how precious you are to our father! I love each one of you to pieces and believe in you greatly! Bless you!
Saturday, November 6, 2010
There is Purpose in Your Pain
There is purpose right where you are, although you may want to argue against such a statement. Whether raising a child with special needs, caring for an elderly parent, mentoring a suicidal teen, or enduring personal chronic pain, most will pass through a lonely tunnel which leads to what I call “The Cave.”
Think of “The Cave” as a word picture. How would you describe it? I picture a damp, musty, and dark place, with sharp rocks all around. Why on earth would anyone choose to go into such a place! Not many of us would. However, some of us feel like we’ve been thrown into a dark, long-forgotten cavern without hope of rescue. What can we do when we find ourselves in a cave?
The three timeless truths that follow can be found in Great Days with the Great Lives by Charles R. Swindoll. These words from Chuck help us to see that a cave can actually be a birthing place, providing you an opportunity to change and be freed from whatever has bound your soul. Recognize caves for what they are, but also remember that at the mouth of every cave, you can find light and relief. Chuck writes:
First, when God prepares us for effective ministry, He includes what we would rather omit—a period of waiting. That cultivates patience. As I write these words, it occurs to me that I’ve never met anyone young and patient. (To be honest, I've not met many old and patient folks either.) We’re all in a hurry. We don't like to miss one panel of a revolving door. Patience comes hard in a hurry-up society. Yet, it’s an essential quality, cultivated only in extended periods of waiting.
Second, as God makes us wait, hiding us in His shadow, He shows us we’re not indispensable. That makes us humble. One major reason the Lord removes us and has us wait in His shadow is to remind us we’re not the star attraction. We’re not indispensable. That realization cultivates genuine humility. I’m convinced Saul never once questioned God for having His hand on Peter and Barnabas, rather than on him. In a time when most gifted individuals would have been volunteering at the revival headquarters, Saul willingly remained behind the scenes. All the while waiting for his time—correction, God’s time.
Third, while God hides us away, He reveals new dimensions of Himself and new insights regarding ministry. That makes us deep. What we need today is not smarter people or busier people. A far greater need is deeper people. Deep people will always have a ministry. Always. God deepens us through time spent waiting on Him.¹
Think of “The Cave” as a word picture. How would you describe it? I picture a damp, musty, and dark place, with sharp rocks all around. Why on earth would anyone choose to go into such a place! Not many of us would. However, some of us feel like we’ve been thrown into a dark, long-forgotten cavern without hope of rescue. What can we do when we find ourselves in a cave?
The three timeless truths that follow can be found in Great Days with the Great Lives by Charles R. Swindoll. These words from Chuck help us to see that a cave can actually be a birthing place, providing you an opportunity to change and be freed from whatever has bound your soul. Recognize caves for what they are, but also remember that at the mouth of every cave, you can find light and relief. Chuck writes:
First, when God prepares us for effective ministry, He includes what we would rather omit—a period of waiting. That cultivates patience. As I write these words, it occurs to me that I’ve never met anyone young and patient. (To be honest, I've not met many old and patient folks either.) We’re all in a hurry. We don't like to miss one panel of a revolving door. Patience comes hard in a hurry-up society. Yet, it’s an essential quality, cultivated only in extended periods of waiting.
Second, as God makes us wait, hiding us in His shadow, He shows us we’re not indispensable. That makes us humble. One major reason the Lord removes us and has us wait in His shadow is to remind us we’re not the star attraction. We’re not indispensable. That realization cultivates genuine humility. I’m convinced Saul never once questioned God for having His hand on Peter and Barnabas, rather than on him. In a time when most gifted individuals would have been volunteering at the revival headquarters, Saul willingly remained behind the scenes. All the while waiting for his time—correction, God’s time.
Third, while God hides us away, He reveals new dimensions of Himself and new insights regarding ministry. That makes us deep. What we need today is not smarter people or busier people. A far greater need is deeper people. Deep people will always have a ministry. Always. God deepens us through time spent waiting on Him.¹
Friday, November 5, 2010
Discovering True Beauty
Too often as women we rely on our physical appearance and material possessions to provide us with the confidence that Christ intended us to gather solely from Him. We become either so insecure or prideful about the way we look on the outside and don’t spend nearly as much time working on our inner beauty as we do on our outer beauty. With the constant barracade of photoshoped magazine ads, plastic surgery crazed celebrities, and a societal obsession with all things physical, it is no wonder so many women struggle with finding their esteem in how they look. I recently read a study that reported that the average woman spends $15,000 on cosmetics in her lifetime, and I wouldn’t be surprised if that number continued to increase each year. What is more frightening is that girls are learning at a young age from their mothers and role models that it is looks that gather attention, not intelligence or a beautiful heart. As women who are raising the next generation, it is our duty to instill the biblical principles of beauty as according to God, and warn other women of the dangers of falling prey to the lies that Satan tells us about beauty of this world.
Ezekiel 16:14, 15 explains how physical beauty leads us into deception and away from His Will:
“And your fame spread among the nations on account of your beauty, because the splendor I had given you made your beauty perfect, declares the Sovereign LORD. But you trusted in your beauty and used your fame to become a prostitute. You lavished your favors on anyone who passed by and your beauty became his.”
I felt extremely convicted of living the life of a woman who spends way too much time thinking about how I look and not nearly enough time focused on the beauty through Christ that God intended for my life, for all of our lives. While I don’t think it is a crime to enjoy makeup and fashion, as far as I am concerned, it IS a crime to neglect the real beauty that God graced me with and that is a heart of compassion and love for others by way of Jesus. I've heard mentioned that if we spent nearly as much time praying or reading the Word as we do fixing our hair in the mirror, we would be a lot closer to the biblical standard of beauty, the kind of beauty that doesn’t fade. I have seen women who on the outside are physically close to perfection but once they open their mouths, their cold hearts and conceit instantly turn them ugly. In comparison, I have seen women who radiate goodness and grace from the inside out, and that is far more attractive any day than a good hairdo or stylish ensemble.
“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” (1 Peter3:3-4)
I never want to pervert or misuse anything that God has so graciously extended to me. In my heart of hearts, I truly believe God created us all in His image, exactly as He wanted us. Who are we to become prideful, or even insecure, in His beautiful creations? As women, every single day we must prepare ourselves for the spiritual battle between what God says is beautiful, versus what the world says is beautiful. I don’t know about you, but for the rest of my days, I want to pursue the beauty that God originally created me with and live with the confidence in knowing until we have been made over on the inside, we really are of no use to The Kingdom.
Instead of looking into the mirror to fix the flaws on my face, I want to look into the Bible as my mirror to fix the flaws on the inside. Instead of spending countless hours obsessing over perfect celebrity bodies, I want to spend countless hours obsessing over the message of God. Instead of wasting my money on material goods that I think will make me more beautiful, I want to spend my money on good deeds for others that I know will make me more beautiful in the eyes of God.
Ezekiel 16:14, 15 explains how physical beauty leads us into deception and away from His Will:
“And your fame spread among the nations on account of your beauty, because the splendor I had given you made your beauty perfect, declares the Sovereign LORD. But you trusted in your beauty and used your fame to become a prostitute. You lavished your favors on anyone who passed by and your beauty became his.”
I felt extremely convicted of living the life of a woman who spends way too much time thinking about how I look and not nearly enough time focused on the beauty through Christ that God intended for my life, for all of our lives. While I don’t think it is a crime to enjoy makeup and fashion, as far as I am concerned, it IS a crime to neglect the real beauty that God graced me with and that is a heart of compassion and love for others by way of Jesus. I've heard mentioned that if we spent nearly as much time praying or reading the Word as we do fixing our hair in the mirror, we would be a lot closer to the biblical standard of beauty, the kind of beauty that doesn’t fade. I have seen women who on the outside are physically close to perfection but once they open their mouths, their cold hearts and conceit instantly turn them ugly. In comparison, I have seen women who radiate goodness and grace from the inside out, and that is far more attractive any day than a good hairdo or stylish ensemble.
“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” (1 Peter3:3-4)
I never want to pervert or misuse anything that God has so graciously extended to me. In my heart of hearts, I truly believe God created us all in His image, exactly as He wanted us. Who are we to become prideful, or even insecure, in His beautiful creations? As women, every single day we must prepare ourselves for the spiritual battle between what God says is beautiful, versus what the world says is beautiful. I don’t know about you, but for the rest of my days, I want to pursue the beauty that God originally created me with and live with the confidence in knowing until we have been made over on the inside, we really are of no use to The Kingdom.
Instead of looking into the mirror to fix the flaws on my face, I want to look into the Bible as my mirror to fix the flaws on the inside. Instead of spending countless hours obsessing over perfect celebrity bodies, I want to spend countless hours obsessing over the message of God. Instead of wasting my money on material goods that I think will make me more beautiful, I want to spend my money on good deeds for others that I know will make me more beautiful in the eyes of God.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Being Happy
Should you not be in a happy state of being here’s what you’ll want to do immediately, at once, right now, quick fast and in a hurry.
Write down three things you’re grateful for, should you be inspired to write more then do so. Being happy!
Write down three happy memories, should you remember more write them as well. Being happy!
Write down three ways you may put a smile on someone’s face. Being happy!
Do you think these brief and simple exercises will help you in your being happy? It works for Me;) it's all in your attitude & how you handle your circumstances. Truth is in the world today we all are facing life changing circumstances that are a lot of times out of our control. In order to get thru them you must be proactive instead of reactive. You must believe all things are possible to them that believe. When one door closes another one bigger and better will open.. Have Faith! I look forward to reading your comment
Should you not be in a happy state of being here’s what you’ll want to do immediately, at once, right now, quick fast and in a hurry.
Write down three things you’re grateful for, should you be inspired to write more then do so. Being happy!
Write down three happy memories, should you remember more write them as well. Being happy!
Write down three ways you may put a smile on someone’s face. Being happy!
Do you think these brief and simple exercises will help you in your being happy? It works for Me;) it's all in your attitude & how you handle your circumstances. Truth is in the world today we all are facing life changing circumstances that are a lot of times out of our control. In order to get thru them you must be proactive instead of reactive. You must believe all things are possible to them that believe. When one door closes another one bigger and better will open.. Have Faith! I look forward to reading your comment
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
"Believing"
I really believe that God spent time in forming our personalities uniquely and wonderfully. Each one of us is, to the same degree, loved before God and yet radically different because of this.
Whenever I catch myself allowing the creeping tendrils of ungodly jealousy working its way around my heart, I immediately remind myself that that’s stupid. God has given each one of us gifts, talents, and abilities, fitting to our individual callings. If we do not embrace these and instead cling onto the desire for others’ portions, then we miss out on our blessing and we miss out on blessing the world. Only you can do what you are called to do by God. No one else is going to do it so as I bluntly heard Jenn Johnson say once, “Stop trying to copy other people and just be yourself. Because no one else will.”
Moreover, I really think it is so crucial that we learn to see other people in the light that God sees us too, that we not only see people as prophets or worshipers, but that we see the quirks and details of each and every person’s character that makes them special before God. In the same light, we must see God’s lost sheep, too, not as projects, but as people with amazing personalities and the destiny to move in apostolic power.
Let us receive one another with the highest regard, that we may be able to receive the highest blessing bestowed upon each other by the King of glory.
Whenever I catch myself allowing the creeping tendrils of ungodly jealousy working its way around my heart, I immediately remind myself that that’s stupid. God has given each one of us gifts, talents, and abilities, fitting to our individual callings. If we do not embrace these and instead cling onto the desire for others’ portions, then we miss out on our blessing and we miss out on blessing the world. Only you can do what you are called to do by God. No one else is going to do it so as I bluntly heard Jenn Johnson say once, “Stop trying to copy other people and just be yourself. Because no one else will.”
Moreover, I really think it is so crucial that we learn to see other people in the light that God sees us too, that we not only see people as prophets or worshipers, but that we see the quirks and details of each and every person’s character that makes them special before God. In the same light, we must see God’s lost sheep, too, not as projects, but as people with amazing personalities and the destiny to move in apostolic power.
Let us receive one another with the highest regard, that we may be able to receive the highest blessing bestowed upon each other by the King of glory.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Detox The Mind
God has an amazing plan for your life.
Anyone who claims to live in God’s light and hates a brother or sister is still in the dark.
1 John 2:9
I refuse to spend a second of my remaining time on this earth angry or vindictive towards anyone. Unforgiveness is crazy, it’s like you drinking the poison and waiting for them to die! Do you hold resentment and bitterness? God intended for us to live in peace and be happy. Let it go. Nobody can make you happy; you have to choose it for yourself.
The best revenge against someone who you feel wronged you is forgiveness. It’s you who will prosper and see all that god has in store for you. Don’t miss the door of happiness that’s opening because you are so angry at a door that’s closed.
God Bless
Anyone who claims to live in God’s light and hates a brother or sister is still in the dark.
1 John 2:9
I refuse to spend a second of my remaining time on this earth angry or vindictive towards anyone. Unforgiveness is crazy, it’s like you drinking the poison and waiting for them to die! Do you hold resentment and bitterness? God intended for us to live in peace and be happy. Let it go. Nobody can make you happy; you have to choose it for yourself.
The best revenge against someone who you feel wronged you is forgiveness. It’s you who will prosper and see all that god has in store for you. Don’t miss the door of happiness that’s opening because you are so angry at a door that’s closed.
God Bless
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Protecting Your Space
I love her to death, but it’s draining to talk to her.
Every time I call this friend of mine, I know what I’m in for: a half-hour tirade about everything that’s difficult, miserable or unfair.
Sometimes she focuses on the people who’ve wronged her (usually without merit) and other times she waxes poetic about the general hopelessness of life.
I tell myself I call because I care, but sometimes I wonder if I have ulterior motives–to pump up my ego offering good advice, or even to feel better about my own reality.
I’m no saint, and if there’s one thing I know well, we only do things repeatedly if we believe there’s something in it for us. Even if that something is just to feel needed.
I thought about this the other day when a reader wrote to me with an interesting question: how do you offer compassion to someone who doesn’t seem to deserve it? She went on to describe her offensive, sexist, racist boss who emotionally exhausts everyone around him. He sounds a lot more hateful than my friend, who is, sadly, just terribly depressed.
But these people have one thing in common: boundless negative energy that constantly seeks a target.
So today I started thinking about how we interact with negative or difficult people. People who seem unhappy, indignant, angry, or just plain rude.
When someone becomes a repeat offender, draining everyone around them, how do you maintain a sense of compassion without getting sucked into their doom? And how do you act in a way that doesn’t reinforce their negativity–and maybe even helps them?
Here’s what I’ve come up with:
1. Resist the urge to judge or assume.
It’s hard to offer someone compassion when you assume you have them pegged. He’s a jerk. She’s a malcontent. He’s an–insert other choice adjective. Even if it seems unlikely someone will wake up one day and act differently we have to remember it is possible.
When you think negative thoughts, it comes out in your body language. Someone prone to negativity may feel all too tempted to mirror that. Try coming at them with the positive mindset you wish they had. Expect the best in them. You never know when you might be pleasantly surprised.
2. Dig deeper, but stay out of the hole.
It’s always easier to offer someone compassion if you try to understand where they’re coming from. But that can’t completely excuse their behavior. If you show negative people you condone the way they act, you give them no real incentive to make a change (which they may actually want deep down).
It may help to repeat this in your head when you deal with them: “I understand your pain. But I’m most helpful if I don’t feed into it.” This might help you approach them with both kindness and firmness so they don’t manipulate you.
3. Maintain a positive boundary.
Some people might tell you to visualize a bright white light around you. This doesn’t actually work for me because I respond better to ideas in words than visualizations. So I tell myself this, “I can only control the positive space I create around myself.”
Then when I interact with this person, I try to do three things, in this order of importance:
Protect the positive space around me. When their negativity is too strong to protect it, I need to walk away.
Diffuse their negativity.
Help them feel more positive, not act more positive–which is more likely to create the desired result.
4. Disarm their negativity, even if just for now.
This goes back to the ideas I mentioned above. I know my depressed friend will rant about life’s injustices as long as I let her. Part of me feels tempted to play amateur psychiatrist–get her talking, and then try to help her reframe situations into a more positive light.
Then I remind myself I can’t change her whole way of being in one phone call. She has to want that. But I can help her focus on something positive right now, in this moment. I can ask about her upcoming birthday. I can remind her it’s a beautiful day for a walk. Don’t try to solve or fix them. Just aim to help them now.
5. Temper your emotional response.
Negativity loves getting a rise out of people. Someone to feel for the sob story. Someone to get outraged over the injustice. Someone to get offended by the racist joke. I suspect this gives them a little light in the darkness of their inner world–a sense that they’re not floating alone in their own anger or sadness.
People remember and learn from what you do more than what you say. If you feed into the situation with emotions, you’ll teach them they can depend on you for a reaction. It’s tough not to react because we’re human, but it’s worth practicing. Respond as calmly as you can with a simple line of fact, even if it’s unrelated. “Dancing with the Stars is on tonight. Planning to watch it?”
6. Question what you’re getting out of it.
Like I mentioned above, we often get something out of relationships with negative people. Get real honest with yourself: have you fallen into a caretaker role because it makes you feel needed? Have you gossiped in a holier-than-thou way? Do you have some sort of stake in keeping the things the way they are?
Questioning yourself helps you change the way you respond–which is really all you can control. You can’t make someone think, feel, or act differently. You can be as kind as possible or as combative as possible, and still not change reality for someone else. All you can control is what you think and do–and then do your best to help them without hurting yourself.
7. Remember the numbers.
Research shows that people with bad attitudes have significantly higher rates of stress and disease. Someone’s mental state plays a huge role in their physical health. If someone’s making life miserable for people around them, you can be sure they’re doing worse for themselves.
What a sad reality. That someone has so much pain inside them they have to act out, like a kid in a tantrum, just to feel some sense of relief–even if that relief comes from getting a rise out of people. When you remember how much a difficult person is suffering, it’s easier to stay focused on minimizing negativity, as opposed to defending yourself or making it worse.
8. Don’t take it personally–but know sometimes it is personal.
Conventional wisdom suggests you should never take it personally when you deal with a negative person. I think it’s a little more complicated than that. You can’t write off everything someone says because they’re insensitive or untactful. An abrasive person can come at you in the worst possible way with a valid point.
Accept that you don’t deserve the excessive emotions in someone’s tone, but weigh their ideas with a willingness to learn. Some of the most useful lessons I’ve learned came from people I wished weren’t right. When you give someone credit who deep down doesn’t think they deserve it, you may inspire a profound shift in how they interpret the world.
9. Act instead of just reacting.
Oftentimes we wait until someone gets angry or depressed to address their persistently negative way of being. If you know someone who seems to deal with difficult thoughts or feelings (as demonstrated in their behavior) don’t wait for a situation to be part of the solution.
Give them a compliment for something they did well. Remind them of a moment when they were happy–as in Remember when you scored that touchdown during the company picnic? That was awesome! You’re more apt to want to boost them up when they haven’t brought you down. This may help mitigate that later, and also give them a little relief from their pain.
10. Maintain the right relationship based on reality as it is.
With my friend, I’m always wishing she could be more positive. I consistently put myself in situations where I feel bad because I want to help. Because I want her to be happy. I’ve recently realized the best I can do is accept her as she is, let her know I believe in her ability to be happy, and then give her space to make the choice.
That means hanging up after I’ve made an effort to help. Or cutting a night short if I’ve done all I can and it’s draining me. Hopefully she’ll want to change some day. Until then, all I can do is love her, while loving myself enough to take care of my needs. Which often means putting them first.
I’ve learned you can’t always save the world. But you can make the world a better place by working on yourself–by becoming self-aware, tapping into your compassion, and protecting your positive space. You may even help negative people by fostering a sense of peace their negativity can’t pierce.
Every time I call this friend of mine, I know what I’m in for: a half-hour tirade about everything that’s difficult, miserable or unfair.
Sometimes she focuses on the people who’ve wronged her (usually without merit) and other times she waxes poetic about the general hopelessness of life.
I tell myself I call because I care, but sometimes I wonder if I have ulterior motives–to pump up my ego offering good advice, or even to feel better about my own reality.
I’m no saint, and if there’s one thing I know well, we only do things repeatedly if we believe there’s something in it for us. Even if that something is just to feel needed.
I thought about this the other day when a reader wrote to me with an interesting question: how do you offer compassion to someone who doesn’t seem to deserve it? She went on to describe her offensive, sexist, racist boss who emotionally exhausts everyone around him. He sounds a lot more hateful than my friend, who is, sadly, just terribly depressed.
But these people have one thing in common: boundless negative energy that constantly seeks a target.
So today I started thinking about how we interact with negative or difficult people. People who seem unhappy, indignant, angry, or just plain rude.
When someone becomes a repeat offender, draining everyone around them, how do you maintain a sense of compassion without getting sucked into their doom? And how do you act in a way that doesn’t reinforce their negativity–and maybe even helps them?
Here’s what I’ve come up with:
1. Resist the urge to judge or assume.
It’s hard to offer someone compassion when you assume you have them pegged. He’s a jerk. She’s a malcontent. He’s an–insert other choice adjective. Even if it seems unlikely someone will wake up one day and act differently we have to remember it is possible.
When you think negative thoughts, it comes out in your body language. Someone prone to negativity may feel all too tempted to mirror that. Try coming at them with the positive mindset you wish they had. Expect the best in them. You never know when you might be pleasantly surprised.
2. Dig deeper, but stay out of the hole.
It’s always easier to offer someone compassion if you try to understand where they’re coming from. But that can’t completely excuse their behavior. If you show negative people you condone the way they act, you give them no real incentive to make a change (which they may actually want deep down).
It may help to repeat this in your head when you deal with them: “I understand your pain. But I’m most helpful if I don’t feed into it.” This might help you approach them with both kindness and firmness so they don’t manipulate you.
3. Maintain a positive boundary.
Some people might tell you to visualize a bright white light around you. This doesn’t actually work for me because I respond better to ideas in words than visualizations. So I tell myself this, “I can only control the positive space I create around myself.”
Then when I interact with this person, I try to do three things, in this order of importance:
Protect the positive space around me. When their negativity is too strong to protect it, I need to walk away.
Diffuse their negativity.
Help them feel more positive, not act more positive–which is more likely to create the desired result.
4. Disarm their negativity, even if just for now.
This goes back to the ideas I mentioned above. I know my depressed friend will rant about life’s injustices as long as I let her. Part of me feels tempted to play amateur psychiatrist–get her talking, and then try to help her reframe situations into a more positive light.
Then I remind myself I can’t change her whole way of being in one phone call. She has to want that. But I can help her focus on something positive right now, in this moment. I can ask about her upcoming birthday. I can remind her it’s a beautiful day for a walk. Don’t try to solve or fix them. Just aim to help them now.
5. Temper your emotional response.
Negativity loves getting a rise out of people. Someone to feel for the sob story. Someone to get outraged over the injustice. Someone to get offended by the racist joke. I suspect this gives them a little light in the darkness of their inner world–a sense that they’re not floating alone in their own anger or sadness.
People remember and learn from what you do more than what you say. If you feed into the situation with emotions, you’ll teach them they can depend on you for a reaction. It’s tough not to react because we’re human, but it’s worth practicing. Respond as calmly as you can with a simple line of fact, even if it’s unrelated. “Dancing with the Stars is on tonight. Planning to watch it?”
6. Question what you’re getting out of it.
Like I mentioned above, we often get something out of relationships with negative people. Get real honest with yourself: have you fallen into a caretaker role because it makes you feel needed? Have you gossiped in a holier-than-thou way? Do you have some sort of stake in keeping the things the way they are?
Questioning yourself helps you change the way you respond–which is really all you can control. You can’t make someone think, feel, or act differently. You can be as kind as possible or as combative as possible, and still not change reality for someone else. All you can control is what you think and do–and then do your best to help them without hurting yourself.
7. Remember the numbers.
Research shows that people with bad attitudes have significantly higher rates of stress and disease. Someone’s mental state plays a huge role in their physical health. If someone’s making life miserable for people around them, you can be sure they’re doing worse for themselves.
What a sad reality. That someone has so much pain inside them they have to act out, like a kid in a tantrum, just to feel some sense of relief–even if that relief comes from getting a rise out of people. When you remember how much a difficult person is suffering, it’s easier to stay focused on minimizing negativity, as opposed to defending yourself or making it worse.
8. Don’t take it personally–but know sometimes it is personal.
Conventional wisdom suggests you should never take it personally when you deal with a negative person. I think it’s a little more complicated than that. You can’t write off everything someone says because they’re insensitive or untactful. An abrasive person can come at you in the worst possible way with a valid point.
Accept that you don’t deserve the excessive emotions in someone’s tone, but weigh their ideas with a willingness to learn. Some of the most useful lessons I’ve learned came from people I wished weren’t right. When you give someone credit who deep down doesn’t think they deserve it, you may inspire a profound shift in how they interpret the world.
9. Act instead of just reacting.
Oftentimes we wait until someone gets angry or depressed to address their persistently negative way of being. If you know someone who seems to deal with difficult thoughts or feelings (as demonstrated in their behavior) don’t wait for a situation to be part of the solution.
Give them a compliment for something they did well. Remind them of a moment when they were happy–as in Remember when you scored that touchdown during the company picnic? That was awesome! You’re more apt to want to boost them up when they haven’t brought you down. This may help mitigate that later, and also give them a little relief from their pain.
10. Maintain the right relationship based on reality as it is.
With my friend, I’m always wishing she could be more positive. I consistently put myself in situations where I feel bad because I want to help. Because I want her to be happy. I’ve recently realized the best I can do is accept her as she is, let her know I believe in her ability to be happy, and then give her space to make the choice.
That means hanging up after I’ve made an effort to help. Or cutting a night short if I’ve done all I can and it’s draining me. Hopefully she’ll want to change some day. Until then, all I can do is love her, while loving myself enough to take care of my needs. Which often means putting them first.
I’ve learned you can’t always save the world. But you can make the world a better place by working on yourself–by becoming self-aware, tapping into your compassion, and protecting your positive space. You may even help negative people by fostering a sense of peace their negativity can’t pierce.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Deal Breakers in Relationships
How to Destroy Your Relationships
I’ve come to realize that relationships are great teachers when both parties are aware and open-minded. We all need quality relationships in our life. We need people that know and understand us.
I am not just talking about romantic relationships, but any relationship. The expectations, beliefs and values of all parties involved makes it volatile and interesting. Relationships can blossom one day and go down in flames the next.
You can see this happening all around you. Some couples seem happy while others are not. What is it that separates working relationships from the ones that don’t work at all? No one really knows for sure and it will be different from case to case, but there will always be theories, and oh how we love theories!
Here are six different ways you can destroy your relationships (if you choose to):
"Attachment"
Even though relationships in and of themselves are about attachment, it is better to release it as much as possible. Being overly attached is being fearful. It signifies that you believe in scarcity. It’s easy to cling to someone when you think that you’ll never find another partner or friend as good as them. This is something that everyone goes through, but ultimately we all realize that it isn’t true. Every relationship will sooner or later pass and new ones will develop. That is the river of life. A big misconception is that love equals permanent attachment. You can love without being needy or attached.
"Control"
Attachment leads to control. Control is one of the biggest relationship breakers for me and I’ve become aware of the slightest amount of control exerted on me. It’s a deal breaker. I am all for submission and order in a relationship.There is a difference.Control comes in many forms, ranging from minor manipulation to exaggerated violence. Just look at how most romantic relationships start, they begin good because both parties are having fun, but as the relationship progresses and the initial infatuations vanish, fear enters the picture and bad stuff happens.
"Expectations"
Being disappointed is impossible without expectations. Take a hard, deep look at what you’re expecting to get out of each relationship you have. Sometimes adjusting your expectations can significantly change your relationship for the better. Clinging to old expectations that do not fit reality will completely destroy a relationship.I have found that a lot of couples walk around with hidden expectations never to verbally communicate their desires to their partner and truly become resentful because they didn't read their minds. TALK People;)
"Selfishness"
It’s easy to fall into selfishness and laziness in both relationships and personal development. It takes discipline to keep going and being aware of what the other person really wants. Sometimes you have to do things you don’t really want to do, but simply focus on how good someone else will feel. Serving others naturally feels good. We’re meant to help and love, as cliché as that sounds. Volunteer and I’ll guarantee you that you’ll feel better afterward. Life is more about giving than getting. Apply giving into you relationships and you’ll see that when you give, the other person is more likely to give as well. I was told for the longest that I wasn't a "Nurturer" only to find out once out of a situation that I am very much so a "Nurturer" Sometimes it helps if you change the negative input from others. It's truly amazing how much you desire to do and give to someone when you feel loved by them as well. It really pulls the best out on both ends.
"Non-Growth"
A relationship where one part is on the path of growth and the other is on the path of sloth is a recipe for disaster. Sooner or later one person will start to outgrow the other, at which point the one lagging behind will start to feel uncomfortable because something is going on making them feel that they aren’t enough anymore. This is why so many people that start growing face so much resistance. If you grow, then that means something is wrong with the people that practice non-growth.
"Different Values"
Relationships can thrive without having the same values. I’m not saying that it can’t. What I’ve seen in my own life is that people that do not have the same big values or goals as I do tend to fall away. It all depends on what values are different. Companionship is a lot easier when both people have the same values.
Remember, it’s okay to move on. Sometimes relationships don’t work out.
There are no rules that bind you down, only the ones you make for yourself. Attracting the right people into your life is a key ingredient in making your relationships work. It’s not just about finding random people and making friends, it’s about finding the right people.
I’ve come to realize that relationships are great teachers when both parties are aware and open-minded. We all need quality relationships in our life. We need people that know and understand us.
I am not just talking about romantic relationships, but any relationship. The expectations, beliefs and values of all parties involved makes it volatile and interesting. Relationships can blossom one day and go down in flames the next.
You can see this happening all around you. Some couples seem happy while others are not. What is it that separates working relationships from the ones that don’t work at all? No one really knows for sure and it will be different from case to case, but there will always be theories, and oh how we love theories!
Here are six different ways you can destroy your relationships (if you choose to):
"Attachment"
Even though relationships in and of themselves are about attachment, it is better to release it as much as possible. Being overly attached is being fearful. It signifies that you believe in scarcity. It’s easy to cling to someone when you think that you’ll never find another partner or friend as good as them. This is something that everyone goes through, but ultimately we all realize that it isn’t true. Every relationship will sooner or later pass and new ones will develop. That is the river of life. A big misconception is that love equals permanent attachment. You can love without being needy or attached.
"Control"
Attachment leads to control. Control is one of the biggest relationship breakers for me and I’ve become aware of the slightest amount of control exerted on me. It’s a deal breaker. I am all for submission and order in a relationship.There is a difference.Control comes in many forms, ranging from minor manipulation to exaggerated violence. Just look at how most romantic relationships start, they begin good because both parties are having fun, but as the relationship progresses and the initial infatuations vanish, fear enters the picture and bad stuff happens.
"Expectations"
Being disappointed is impossible without expectations. Take a hard, deep look at what you’re expecting to get out of each relationship you have. Sometimes adjusting your expectations can significantly change your relationship for the better. Clinging to old expectations that do not fit reality will completely destroy a relationship.I have found that a lot of couples walk around with hidden expectations never to verbally communicate their desires to their partner and truly become resentful because they didn't read their minds. TALK People;)
"Selfishness"
It’s easy to fall into selfishness and laziness in both relationships and personal development. It takes discipline to keep going and being aware of what the other person really wants. Sometimes you have to do things you don’t really want to do, but simply focus on how good someone else will feel. Serving others naturally feels good. We’re meant to help and love, as cliché as that sounds. Volunteer and I’ll guarantee you that you’ll feel better afterward. Life is more about giving than getting. Apply giving into you relationships and you’ll see that when you give, the other person is more likely to give as well. I was told for the longest that I wasn't a "Nurturer" only to find out once out of a situation that I am very much so a "Nurturer" Sometimes it helps if you change the negative input from others. It's truly amazing how much you desire to do and give to someone when you feel loved by them as well. It really pulls the best out on both ends.
"Non-Growth"
A relationship where one part is on the path of growth and the other is on the path of sloth is a recipe for disaster. Sooner or later one person will start to outgrow the other, at which point the one lagging behind will start to feel uncomfortable because something is going on making them feel that they aren’t enough anymore. This is why so many people that start growing face so much resistance. If you grow, then that means something is wrong with the people that practice non-growth.
"Different Values"
Relationships can thrive without having the same values. I’m not saying that it can’t. What I’ve seen in my own life is that people that do not have the same big values or goals as I do tend to fall away. It all depends on what values are different. Companionship is a lot easier when both people have the same values.
Remember, it’s okay to move on. Sometimes relationships don’t work out.
There are no rules that bind you down, only the ones you make for yourself. Attracting the right people into your life is a key ingredient in making your relationships work. It’s not just about finding random people and making friends, it’s about finding the right people.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
"NEXT" easier said than "DONE"
Love is defined in many ways. Ask anyone on the street for their definition of love, and you’ll get no two answers the same. The Bible defines love. Movies define love. Turn on the radio and you’ll get a definition of love. We see evidence of love in the unlikeliest of places and among the most unlikely of men and women. Your cat loves you. Your dog loves you. Your neighbor loves you. Your mom loves you.
Love is everywhere we look. It makes the world go round, you know.
Something I’ve learned in life, and I didn’t learn it the easy way...is that love...true love...real, unselfish, unconditional love...can be found most prevalently in the act of letting go. I know, I know...we’ve all heard the saying: "If you love something enough, let it go. If it comes back to you, it’s yours forever. If it doesn’t, it was never really yours to begin with." As cliche as it might sound, it still holds true. I am learning that the most selfless act of love one person can show another person is to let them go. The inclination is always to beg, to cry, to plead for the other person to change their mind, forgive you, love you more, want you more, need you more...to show them why they can’t live without you...to prove to them that if they give you just one more chance, you’ll get it right this time. It’s human nature. It’s definitely my nature, as I typically refuse to give up without a fight. But if the person you love most in the world is struggling to break free...ready to move on...slipping through your fingers...regardless of how much it breaks your heart, shouldn’t you wish them the best and let them fly?
We have to let go. Not just for our own sake, but for the other person’s. Our hearts will never sing as long as we cling. When someone I love makes a choice, and his choice is not me...no matter how much I adore him and want to prove to him how wrong he was and how much he needs me in his life and how perfect we are for each other...I have to release him, and his memory, and trust that life and God has a plan for us both, even if it’s not together. And that moment, that decision, that act of letting the other person go...that’s our gift to them. At the end of the day and on the horizon of moving on, I guess our goodbye is really the only gift we have left to give.
Letting go is not for the faint of heart. It’s the hardest thing most of us will ever have to learn how to do...but still, we must do it. Because true love, real love, unselfish love...demands nothing less.
Love is everywhere we look. It makes the world go round, you know.
Something I’ve learned in life, and I didn’t learn it the easy way...is that love...true love...real, unselfish, unconditional love...can be found most prevalently in the act of letting go. I know, I know...we’ve all heard the saying: "If you love something enough, let it go. If it comes back to you, it’s yours forever. If it doesn’t, it was never really yours to begin with." As cliche as it might sound, it still holds true. I am learning that the most selfless act of love one person can show another person is to let them go. The inclination is always to beg, to cry, to plead for the other person to change their mind, forgive you, love you more, want you more, need you more...to show them why they can’t live without you...to prove to them that if they give you just one more chance, you’ll get it right this time. It’s human nature. It’s definitely my nature, as I typically refuse to give up without a fight. But if the person you love most in the world is struggling to break free...ready to move on...slipping through your fingers...regardless of how much it breaks your heart, shouldn’t you wish them the best and let them fly?
We have to let go. Not just for our own sake, but for the other person’s. Our hearts will never sing as long as we cling. When someone I love makes a choice, and his choice is not me...no matter how much I adore him and want to prove to him how wrong he was and how much he needs me in his life and how perfect we are for each other...I have to release him, and his memory, and trust that life and God has a plan for us both, even if it’s not together. And that moment, that decision, that act of letting the other person go...that’s our gift to them. At the end of the day and on the horizon of moving on, I guess our goodbye is really the only gift we have left to give.
Letting go is not for the faint of heart. It’s the hardest thing most of us will ever have to learn how to do...but still, we must do it. Because true love, real love, unselfish love...demands nothing less.
Turning Ur Scars into Stars
Quitting + Me= just not an option! I can honestly look back on my life and realize I made some terrible mistakes. I can’t go back and change anything that happened. I really don't know that I would if I could. These mistakes molded me into who I am today so I choose to realize they now have become learning experiences and I can certainly have a better future. There were many times I wanted to quit. I was at the end of my rope a few times. God gave me a little more slack! Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will end. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.
People will not always celebrate your diliverence or your change. They will become the devil's advocate trying to keep you tied to your previous circumstances,reminding you of who you were and making you doubt who you have become. Don't listen! YOU have the Authority as a child of God to delete them from your memory file of people who matter.. You will also discover that people from your past will gossip and lie about you(this is the devils way of keeping you bound as well if you allow) They will try to ambush any kind of new beginning for you..They can't touch you! They may benefit by keeping a few new people from becoming your friends because they decided to believe your past history rather than getting to know you themselves..This means you didn't need them either and in some way was God's protection for you...
I remember, at one point in my journey of reclaiming my life and healing as the new me when I felt a tremendous amount of defeat and discouragement. It felt like people from everywhere were gossiping about me....my human side was sad because they had NO idea of the situation and were judging me off of hear say and gossip(and my past)...I cried out to God about it his response to me was," Kimberly don't you say a word to any of them...don't retaliate! You just live so no one believes them!" Hard? YES! I obeyed God that night and he was right..! I discovered during this season of God doing reconstructive surgery on my heart a huge amount of unconditonal love for humans..I promised God that I would Never ever judge a book by it's covor and that I would love people right where they were in their journey..I promised that I would be there for people in my current situation so they didn't have to feel alone...I can truly say,"I am and have walked this out in the lives of others" I absolutely have a Love for people like never before...God turned my scars into scars and my pain into my pulpit....
The two most important things that changed my life. My faith in God (Having a relationship with Jesus) and a positive attitude everyday! By doing this I went from ordinary to extraordinary. People always say “Kimberly you’re always so happy, you’re always in a good mood” please know it isn’t like bad things don’t happen to me. I’m in the same economy as everyone else; I have problems I have to figure out everyday. I speak with friends that are going through things that break my heart. It’s not about the situation it’s how you react to the situation. I start my day with thanksgiving. It goes back to when we were kids how we always wanted things, but many times we forgot to say those words our parents reminded us of “Thank you” Try starting your day by thanking God. Thanking him for the chance to walk in a life free from torment, loneliness and confusion. For giving you wisdom in all that you do and for giving you decernment in your life to choose the right folk to surround yourself with...Then choose a great attitude. There is only 2 kinds of days you truly can have,"Great and Good" :))Your life will start changing!
People will not always celebrate your diliverence or your change. They will become the devil's advocate trying to keep you tied to your previous circumstances,reminding you of who you were and making you doubt who you have become. Don't listen! YOU have the Authority as a child of God to delete them from your memory file of people who matter.. You will also discover that people from your past will gossip and lie about you(this is the devils way of keeping you bound as well if you allow) They will try to ambush any kind of new beginning for you..They can't touch you! They may benefit by keeping a few new people from becoming your friends because they decided to believe your past history rather than getting to know you themselves..This means you didn't need them either and in some way was God's protection for you...
I remember, at one point in my journey of reclaiming my life and healing as the new me when I felt a tremendous amount of defeat and discouragement. It felt like people from everywhere were gossiping about me....my human side was sad because they had NO idea of the situation and were judging me off of hear say and gossip(and my past)...I cried out to God about it his response to me was," Kimberly don't you say a word to any of them...don't retaliate! You just live so no one believes them!" Hard? YES! I obeyed God that night and he was right..! I discovered during this season of God doing reconstructive surgery on my heart a huge amount of unconditonal love for humans..I promised God that I would Never ever judge a book by it's covor and that I would love people right where they were in their journey..I promised that I would be there for people in my current situation so they didn't have to feel alone...I can truly say,"I am and have walked this out in the lives of others" I absolutely have a Love for people like never before...God turned my scars into scars and my pain into my pulpit....
The two most important things that changed my life. My faith in God (Having a relationship with Jesus) and a positive attitude everyday! By doing this I went from ordinary to extraordinary. People always say “Kimberly you’re always so happy, you’re always in a good mood” please know it isn’t like bad things don’t happen to me. I’m in the same economy as everyone else; I have problems I have to figure out everyday. I speak with friends that are going through things that break my heart. It’s not about the situation it’s how you react to the situation. I start my day with thanksgiving. It goes back to when we were kids how we always wanted things, but many times we forgot to say those words our parents reminded us of “Thank you” Try starting your day by thanking God. Thanking him for the chance to walk in a life free from torment, loneliness and confusion. For giving you wisdom in all that you do and for giving you decernment in your life to choose the right folk to surround yourself with...Then choose a great attitude. There is only 2 kinds of days you truly can have,"Great and Good" :))Your life will start changing!
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Being Amazing at Being Amazing...
Today is a Great day!I want to start off by telling you how amazing you are! You’re probably saying to yourself “She doesn’t even know me” and you’re right, I may or may not know you, but everyone has something amazing about them. I see it all the time when I meet someone. Maybe it’s my positive outlook on life or maybe it’s because I choose to see the good in people. We tend to want to see the negativity in someone rather that finding the good. When we start to find something amazing in our self then it becomes easier to find something amazing in another person. You’re amazing at your job, you’re an amazing husband, wife, friend, parent, teacher or amazing at being amazing! How do you feel amazing? Here’s a couple that worked for me:
1. Forgiveness - That’s right getting over the past makes you feel amazing! Life is too short to waste time with unforgivenes or hating someone. Forgive everyone and everything. Make peace with your past that way you won’t screw up your future.I always say,"You gotta let go of Mr/Mrs.Wrong to find Mr/Mrs.Right..You deserve it:)
2. Honesty - What an amazing feeling it is to be in a relationship/friendship and have total honesty. Everyday it’s important to be proud of who’s looking back at you in the mirror. We all have a conscience and its there for a reason. Many people lie or are deceitful out of convenience and that’s sad. It is the beginning to the end of relationships.
3.Compliment - Tell someone how amazing they are. Or just making someone feel special. I love to make people feel special. Especially my Family or Friends! Everyday you should reach out and touch someone. A warm hug,(I hug strangers:) kind words, a big smile, leaving a note on how amazing they are! The more you give in life the more you get back.
4. Health - It’s something we sometimes take for granted until we become very sick or overweight. I don't want to have to go through this wake up call..You crawl before you can walk and walk before you can run. Nobody can do this but you. Join me and lets take care of us....I know with myself If I gain a little weight I don't feel my best so I do have to stay on top of this...every one is different so just figure out you and what makes you happiest and start implementing it so you can have a awesome happy life everyday...We shouldn't need the world to come alive..We should be the one's that are ALIVE IN THIS WORLD....whooooooohoooooooo come'on;))
1. Forgiveness - That’s right getting over the past makes you feel amazing! Life is too short to waste time with unforgivenes or hating someone. Forgive everyone and everything. Make peace with your past that way you won’t screw up your future.I always say,"You gotta let go of Mr/Mrs.Wrong to find Mr/Mrs.Right..You deserve it:)
2. Honesty - What an amazing feeling it is to be in a relationship/friendship and have total honesty. Everyday it’s important to be proud of who’s looking back at you in the mirror. We all have a conscience and its there for a reason. Many people lie or are deceitful out of convenience and that’s sad. It is the beginning to the end of relationships.
3.Compliment - Tell someone how amazing they are. Or just making someone feel special. I love to make people feel special. Especially my Family or Friends! Everyday you should reach out and touch someone. A warm hug,(I hug strangers:) kind words, a big smile, leaving a note on how amazing they are! The more you give in life the more you get back.
4. Health - It’s something we sometimes take for granted until we become very sick or overweight. I don't want to have to go through this wake up call..You crawl before you can walk and walk before you can run. Nobody can do this but you. Join me and lets take care of us....I know with myself If I gain a little weight I don't feel my best so I do have to stay on top of this...every one is different so just figure out you and what makes you happiest and start implementing it so you can have a awesome happy life everyday...We shouldn't need the world to come alive..We should be the one's that are ALIVE IN THIS WORLD....whooooooohoooooooo come'on;))
My 38th Birthday...I blinked & yet another Year
As I grow older, I have learned a lot. I would like to share this with you, because we are NO different. Life passes quickly, there are no guarantees, no time outs, and many times no second chances. I am stronger than I ever thought possible. Have faith in God. He is so real and important in my life. Surround yourself with positive people. You just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you, speak out, dance even if you don’t know how (like me!), hold someone's hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep holding the one you love, stay up late, be spontaneous, and smile until your face hurts. Give of yourself, your time, your heart your finances to someone that needs help. The more you give the more you get back. You'll have your heart broken and you'll break others' hearts. You'll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them, and you'll cry because people you love dearly have been taken from you. So take lots of pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, don’t bring the pain or hurt from other relationships into a new one. Don’t talk negative about other people. Love like you've never been hurt. Don't be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back. The greatest risk is not taking one. I thank God for allowing me this beautiful life.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
I Believe in YOU
13 Things I Believe About You
I believe there is more God given potential in you than you realize.I believe He has a plan for your life…one that He is revealing in steps because IF He revealed it all at one our minds would explode.I believe in order to achieve what God really wants for you then you will have to embrace both the uncomfortable and the unknown.I believe God is after your heart, not just your behavior…and quite possible the reason He’s not talking you to the next step is because your current step is for you to let go of the idol that He has been exposing in your life.I believe whenever God asks us to give something up it is because He wants to replace it with something better.I believe that God’s plan for your life IS going to include an “oh crap” moment, one where you finally realize that implications of Hebrews 11:6.I believe that God wants what is best for you.I believe that you can do exactly what God has equipped and empowered you to do.I believe that if you are faithful with the little things He will entrust you with many.I believe you should ask yourself the question over and over again, “what would I be willing to attempt for God if I knew I could not fail” and allow Him to develop a holy discontent in your life.I believe God uses ordinary people to accomplish extrordinary things. (Acts 4:13)I believe that as your view of God increase…so will our level of obedience.I believe that true desperation for God will bring revelation from Him…that He wants us to know more than we actually want to know.I believe when God sets your heart on fire with a desire that is from Him…you should not leave Him alone until you see that desire accomplished. (Parable of the persistant widow.)
#1 – I believe there is more God given potential in you than you realize. (See Ephesians 2:10)
#2 – I believe He has a plan for your life…one that He is revealing in steps because IF He revealed it all at one our minds would explode. (See I Corinthians 2:9)
#3 – I believe in order to achieve what God really wants for you then you will have to embrace both the uncomfortable and the unknown. (See Luke 9:23)
#4 – I believe God is after your heart, not just your behavior…and quite possible the reason He’s not taking you to the next step is because your current step is for you to let go of the idol that He has been exposing in your life. (See Ezekiel 14:1-5)
#5 – I believe whenever God asks us to give something up it is because He wants to replace it with something better.
#6 – I believe that God’s plan for your life IS going to include an “oh crap” moment, one where you finally realize that implications of Hebrews 11:6.
#7 – I believe that you can do exactly what God has equipped and empowered you to do. (See Philippians 4:13)
#8 – I believe that if you are faithful with the little things He will entrust you with many. (See Luke 12:48)
#9 – I believe you should ask yourself the question over and over again, “what would I be willing to attempt for God if I knew I could not fail” and allow Him to develop a holy discontent in your life. (See Romans 4:17)
#10 – I believe God uses ordinary people to accomplish extrordinary things. (See Acts 4:13)
#11 – I believe that as your view of God increase…so will our level of obedience. (See Isaiah 6:1-8)
#12 – I believe that true desperation for God will bring revelation from Him…that He wants us to know more than we actually want to know.
#13 – I believe when God sets your heart on fire with a desire that is from Him…you should not leave Him alone until you see that desire accomplished. (See Isaiah 62:6-7)
I believe there is more God given potential in you than you realize.I believe He has a plan for your life…one that He is revealing in steps because IF He revealed it all at one our minds would explode.I believe in order to achieve what God really wants for you then you will have to embrace both the uncomfortable and the unknown.I believe God is after your heart, not just your behavior…and quite possible the reason He’s not talking you to the next step is because your current step is for you to let go of the idol that He has been exposing in your life.I believe whenever God asks us to give something up it is because He wants to replace it with something better.I believe that God’s plan for your life IS going to include an “oh crap” moment, one where you finally realize that implications of Hebrews 11:6.I believe that God wants what is best for you.I believe that you can do exactly what God has equipped and empowered you to do.I believe that if you are faithful with the little things He will entrust you with many.I believe you should ask yourself the question over and over again, “what would I be willing to attempt for God if I knew I could not fail” and allow Him to develop a holy discontent in your life.I believe God uses ordinary people to accomplish extrordinary things. (Acts 4:13)I believe that as your view of God increase…so will our level of obedience.I believe that true desperation for God will bring revelation from Him…that He wants us to know more than we actually want to know.I believe when God sets your heart on fire with a desire that is from Him…you should not leave Him alone until you see that desire accomplished. (Parable of the persistant widow.)
#1 – I believe there is more God given potential in you than you realize. (See Ephesians 2:10)
#2 – I believe He has a plan for your life…one that He is revealing in steps because IF He revealed it all at one our minds would explode. (See I Corinthians 2:9)
#3 – I believe in order to achieve what God really wants for you then you will have to embrace both the uncomfortable and the unknown. (See Luke 9:23)
#4 – I believe God is after your heart, not just your behavior…and quite possible the reason He’s not taking you to the next step is because your current step is for you to let go of the idol that He has been exposing in your life. (See Ezekiel 14:1-5)
#5 – I believe whenever God asks us to give something up it is because He wants to replace it with something better.
#6 – I believe that God’s plan for your life IS going to include an “oh crap” moment, one where you finally realize that implications of Hebrews 11:6.
#7 – I believe that you can do exactly what God has equipped and empowered you to do. (See Philippians 4:13)
#8 – I believe that if you are faithful with the little things He will entrust you with many. (See Luke 12:48)
#9 – I believe you should ask yourself the question over and over again, “what would I be willing to attempt for God if I knew I could not fail” and allow Him to develop a holy discontent in your life. (See Romans 4:17)
#10 – I believe God uses ordinary people to accomplish extrordinary things. (See Acts 4:13)
#11 – I believe that as your view of God increase…so will our level of obedience. (See Isaiah 6:1-8)
#12 – I believe that true desperation for God will bring revelation from Him…that He wants us to know more than we actually want to know.
#13 – I believe when God sets your heart on fire with a desire that is from Him…you should not leave Him alone until you see that desire accomplished. (See Isaiah 62:6-7)
Forget about it
Regrets and worries two things that can ruin your life. Some regrets are not what we did, but rather what we didn’t do. Every new day is another chance to change your life. Either you can run from it, or learn from it. Learn but don’t go back. It made us who we are today. Here’s a recent survey 40% of our worries never happen, 30% of our worries concern the past, 12% of our worries are needless health concerns, 10% of our worries are insignificant and petty issues, only 8% of our worries are legitimate. Turn your worries over to God, He’s up all night & awake all day.. Bless You
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