Flipping the Script on Self(ish)Love.. Creating a better ME!

How many times have you been told to "believe in" or to "feel good about yourself"? I had a mentor who advised me to kiss my reflection in the mirror and tell myself that i am beautiful and wonderful. I know some people who act like they’ve kissed their mirrors one too many times, but not me. I have suffered from insecurity and low self-esteem myself before.. I always say,"God was in a funny mood the day he created me!" He gave me to a mommy that stood 5'1 and 99 pounds wet.. He created me 5'9 and thick;)) I always felt like a amazon next to her petite frame! I now celebrate my body & image. Wouldn't want to be any different! I also faced a learning disability which led to me being very driven in everything i did. Trying to prove something to ME & everyone around me.  I really was a train wreck for a while. Hurt people.. Hurt people! I hurt many Hearts of people I loved all because I didn't love me. Thank God I'm free from that & growing everyday! Healed people.. Heal people! This is why I now Love sooooo Much.. Even the Meanies;)) I realize no one truly wants to be mean.. It's a cover for their insecurities,hurt and pain that they haven't dealt with.. I truly believe everyone can change if they desire! I did;)  

I’ve always seemed confident on the outside, but I’ve felt insecure inside, longing for someone to love me and believe in me. Just as many of you have. My gift from God was realizing it had to start in me so that I could be lovable.. I faced a life changing event 5 years ago that literally brought me to my knees. What the devil meant for evil.. God used for his Glory and healed my soul through it. Though I would never want anyone to face this nor would I ever want to relive it.. I am so grateful for what God did in my heart,life and soul! I surrendered during this season. I was desperate and allowed myself to be vulnerable to a good God. I realized he is a Kind, loving , gracious, forgiving God who desired for me to be whole and love life! I faced my fears and learned to love people & everything about me.. I was reborn in this season! Okay.. Let me get back on track here on talking about Self Esteem;) 

Is Self-Esteem Necessary?
Society emphasizes the need for high self-esteem, but is it biblical? Some people think so. They point to Mark 12:31 as a biblical basis for cultivating self-love. That’s the passage where Jesus says that the greatest commandment is to love God and the second is to love your neighbor as yourself. Proponents of self-love detect a third commandment, explaining that we cannot love our neighbor until we love ourselves. Hence, they say, our basic need is higher self-esteem. Yet this is a misinterpretation of Scripture. Ephesians 5:6 says, "No man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it. . . ." Rather than telling us to love ourselves, the Bible says we already love ourselves and predicts that self-esteem movements will rise in the last days. In fact, the only biblical reference to self love is negative. People will become "lovers of their own selves" (2 Timothy 3:2). Society’s emphasis on self-love is characteristic of a proud society. We are seeing ramifications of this all around us with how we've placed men & women of God up on high man made platforms holding them to unrealistic standards that they couldn't  fulfill. They got puffed up by the praise and lost sight of the fear of God. This resulting in them falling into sin and hurting lots of saints who had them in the place of God in their lives. 

The Bible contains plenty of examples of people who suffered from self-esteem problems. However, none suffered from low self-esteem. King Saul was doing just fine when he was "little in [his] own sight" (2 Samuel 15:17). When he became proud and decided to run his own show, however, his high self-esteem, manifested in disobedience, cost him his kingdom.

A rich man of the New Testament also paid a high price for high self-esteem. One year, his harvest was far more than he needed, so he came up with a plan to rip down his barns and build bigger ones to hold his excess food. Then he said to himself: "Soul, thou hast much goods laid up for many years; take thine ease, eat, drink and be merry" (Luke 12:18-19). Christ condemned this man for focusing on himself, calling him a fool. The rich man’s self-focus cost him his life that night.

Do you notice any similarities between the rich man’s words and the following? "I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God: I will sit also upon the mount of the congregation, in the sides of the north: I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will be like the most high" (Isaiah 14:13-14). These words, spoken by Satan, caused him to be thrown out of heaven. High self-esteem says,

"You are great; you have the ability and the right to make your own decisions and to run your own life, and no one should stop you—not even God." High self-esteem was the original sin.

Consider the apostle Paul. If anyone had cause to have high self-esteem, Paul did. He had attended a prestigious "Ivy League" school of his day. He was religious, extremely moral, and zealous in religious service. Yet the Lord gave him a "thorn in the flesh" to keep him from having high self-esteem. In 2 Corinthians 12:6, Paul says he would have enjoyed glorying in himself, yet he realized how foolish that would be. Only God deserved the credit for changing him from a pompous Pharisee to a humble servant of Christ.(This is how I feel.. I'm humbled to be a voice for my God;) Though Paul asked God to take his weakness away, the request was denied. Instead, Christ gave Paul something better: Christ-dependence. Listen to the Lord’s promise: "My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness" (v. 9).

Is Christ Sufficient?
If having high self-esteem is so unbiblical, why do Christians still think they need it? Self-esteem rears its head when we refuse to believe that Christ is sufficient in our weakness and when we claim credit for the abilities, accomplishments, and strengths God has given us. Our need for self-esteem is basically pride—essentially stealing attention away from God. In our culture where the self-made man and the empowered woman are our role models, weakness is not a virtue. We would rather feel strong and self-sufficient than to be dependent on someone else. If we realize that Christ can love us, use us, change us, and give us grace in our weaknesses, then Christ is the One we need, not ourselves. (whew.. I'm blessing myself & speaking to myself! This makes me love God even more!;)

You have a choice. You can choose to believe in yourself or Christ but not both. If we really believe that Christ is sufficient in our weakness—that Christ’s strength, beauty, sovereignty, and perfection are far greater than our weakness—then we won’t need to raise our self-esteem. When we admit that we are weak and that God is strong, we become people God can use for His glory. We aren't puffed up.. We realize we're just a sinner, saved by grace.. We're so humbled and grateful, we can't help but be contagious in his love! We walk everyday in the whole armor of God and give him all the glory! 

How do we combat self-esteem and cultivate Christ-esteem? We need to think realistically about who we are in light of who God is. Try this: Take a sheet of paper and divide it into four columns. In the first column, list your weaknesses, and in the second column, write down verses that show how God can be glorified through each one.  A verse that helps me overcome the jitters when I'm faced with standing & ministering in front of a group of saints that I respect and admire.. I find myself feeling at times like they should be up there more than I... (Yes, this happens to me;)  one of my verses is Psalm 144:1: "Blessed be the LORD my strength, which teacheth my hands to war, and my fingers to fight." I am chosen to minister the gospel and I can do all things thru Christ who strengthen me! He turned my scars into stars and my pain into my pulpit.. Thank the Lord for how He can and will use your weaknesses to show His strength, power, and grace in your life. (Note: If you cannot be thankful for your weaknesses, you are showing roots of bitterness against God. Confess that and then thank Him.)

In the third column, write your strengths and pray two things about each one: First, ask God to prevent you from boasting in them (2 Corinthians 12:9). Recognize that it is only by His grace you have strengths and abilities;  Second, entrust each strength to the Lord, asking Him to use your strengths to glorify Himself. Finally, in the fourth column, write down Bible verses that will help you to resist the temptation to be proud of your strengths. Girls, do you think that you are (as my guy friends used to say) a "super luscious babe"? Memorize Proverbs 31:30: "Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised." But wait, guys, you’re not off the hook. If you think you’re a "chick magnet," consider Eliab, King David’s good-looking older brother. His looks did not impress God, who said, "Man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart" (1 Samuel 16:7). If we pray submissively and think biblically, God will give grace to meet our needs (Philippians 4:6-19).

When we acknowledge our powerlessness compared to that of a holy, righteous, omnipotent God, we realize we have nothing to glory in. We are left in awe of the God of the universe who fearfully and wonderfully made each of us to be exactly who we are (Psalm 139:14). He is also the God who provides His Spirit to help us in our weakness (Romans 8:26). We can confidently depend on Christ when we’re feeling weak! "For when I am weak, then am I strong" (2 Corinthians 12:10).

I am learning that I don’t need someone to believe in me when my almighty, loving Father has chosen me and is working in my life to make me like His Son. Everyday is a new day of me growing more & more in him..He is the One we need to esteem. We need only Him. That just rawks to ME! I pray this touched you and gives you a new understanding of just how precious you are to our father! I love each one of you to pieces and believe in you greatly! Bless you!