Deal Breakers in Relationships

How to Destroy Your Relationships

I’ve come to realize that relationships are great teachers when both parties are aware and open-minded. We all need quality relationships in our life. We need people that know and understand us.

I am not just talking about romantic relationships, but any relationship. The expectations, beliefs and values of all parties involved makes it volatile and interesting. Relationships can blossom one day and go down in flames the next.

You can see this happening all around you. Some couples seem happy while others are not. What is it that separates working relationships from the ones that don’t work at all? No one really knows for sure and it will be different from case to case, but there will always be theories, and oh how we love theories!

Here are six different ways you can destroy your relationships (if you choose to):

"Attachment"
Even though relationships in and of themselves are about attachment, it is better to release it as much as possible. Being overly attached is being fearful. It signifies that you believe in scarcity. It’s easy to cling to someone when you think that you’ll never find another partner or friend as good as them. This is something that everyone goes through, but ultimately we all realize that it isn’t true. Every relationship will sooner or later pass and new ones will develop. That is the river of life. A big misconception is that love equals permanent attachment. You can love without being needy or attached.

"Control"
Attachment leads to control. Control is one of the biggest relationship breakers for me and I’ve become aware of the slightest amount of control exerted on me. It’s a deal breaker. I am all for submission and order in a relationship.There is a difference.Control comes in many forms, ranging from minor manipulation to exaggerated violence. Just look at how most romantic relationships start, they begin good because both parties are having fun, but as the relationship progresses and the initial infatuations vanish, fear enters the picture and bad stuff happens.

"Expectations"
Being disappointed is impossible without expectations. Take a hard, deep look at what you’re expecting to get out of each relationship you have. Sometimes adjusting your expectations can significantly change your relationship for the better. Clinging to old expectations that do not fit reality will completely destroy a relationship.I have found that a lot of couples walk around with hidden expectations never to verbally communicate their desires to their partner and truly become resentful because they didn't read their minds. TALK People;)

"Selfishness"
It’s easy to fall into selfishness and laziness in both relationships and personal development. It takes discipline to keep going and being aware of what the other person really wants. Sometimes you have to do things you don’t really want to do, but simply focus on how good someone else will feel. Serving others naturally feels good. We’re meant to help and love, as cliché as that sounds. Volunteer and I’ll guarantee you that you’ll feel better afterward. Life is more about giving than getting. Apply giving into you relationships and you’ll see that when you give, the other person is more likely to give as well. I was told for the longest that I wasn't a "Nurturer" only to find out once out of a situation that I am very much so a "Nurturer" Sometimes it helps if you change the negative input from others. It's truly amazing how much you desire to do and give to someone when you feel loved by them as well. It really pulls the best out on both ends.

"Non-Growth"
A relationship where one part is on the path of growth and the other is on the path of sloth is a recipe for disaster. Sooner or later one person will start to outgrow the other, at which point the one lagging behind will start to feel uncomfortable because something is going on making them feel that they aren’t enough anymore. This is why so many people that start growing face so much resistance. If you grow, then that means something is wrong with the people that practice non-growth.

"Different Values"
Relationships can thrive without having the same values. I’m not saying that it can’t. What I’ve seen in my own life is that people that do not have the same big values or goals as I do tend to fall away. It all depends on what values are different. Companionship is a lot easier when both people have the same values.
Remember, it’s okay to move on. Sometimes relationships don’t work out.

There are no rules that bind you down, only the ones you make for yourself. Attracting the right people into your life is a key ingredient in making your relationships work. It’s not just about finding random people and making friends, it’s about finding the right people.